Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
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How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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