I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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