You can't motorboat a personality
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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