My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
