Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize