We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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