you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize