with your own penis?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
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Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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