how can u be prego again
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
