A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Randomize
