And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
