google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
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I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
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Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
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