Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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