I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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