hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
