david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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