Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
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