She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
