Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
