During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
