is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
it was like eating out sand paper
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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