my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
