he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
