he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
