Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Someone signed my nipple.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize