There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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