Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
