Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
