A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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