I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
