Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
