you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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