I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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