Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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