Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.