One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
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