i may or may not be watching the land before time
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
She bit a glass in half.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
