Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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