we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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