I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
