You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize