Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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