this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
