We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
