Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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