Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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