Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
