Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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