Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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