Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
We were destined to go to rehab together
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I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
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