you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
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