My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina just recognized that song.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize