alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
