So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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