Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
