The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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