I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
It was like getting head from an anaconda
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize