your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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