I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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