i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
