my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
