Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Me too!
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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