I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
