This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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